22.12.09

raaaor



the boy with antlers
was a sad soul indeed
spent his days all alone
at night, cried himself to sleep
only button-ups and zippers
no hats or caps for him
teased for his earmuffs
loafers and cords
it seemed nothing was enough
he just couldn't win
til one day, she appeared
the girl with a fin

10.12.09

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss


burgerboard
breakdance
flapjackface
knifefight
axeattack
dollbod
hotdogbaby

have you seen this dog?

7.12.09

not happy, but you're funny

The absence of God will bring you comfort, baby
And planning's for the poor so let's pretend that we're rich
And I'm not my body or how I choose to destroy it
Folk singers sing songs for the working, baby

We're just recreation for all those doctors and lawyers
There's no relief for the bleeding heart
'Cause they'll be losing bodies tonight

And Rob says you love, love, love and then you die
I've watched him while sleeping and seen him crying with closed eyes
And you're not happy but you're funny and I'm tripping over my joy
But I just keep on getting up again

We could be daytime drunks if we wanted
We'd never get anything done that way baby
And we'd still be ruled by our dueling perspectives
And I'm not my perspective
Or the lies I'll tell you every time

And Morgan says, maybe love won't let you down
All of your failures are training grounds
And just as your back's turned you'll be surprised she says
As your solitude subsides

And Mike I'll teach you how to swim
If you turn the bad in me into good again

And I say there's trouble
When everything is fine
The need to destroy things
Creeps up on me every time
Just as love's silhouette appears
I close my eyes and disappear tonight

And something's got to change
'Cause our love's the slowest moving train


1.12.09

Life (*live)

in an attempt to pay homage to NOW,
i started the day with my best sober iggy.
try it.
it will make you laugh. at yourself. guaranteed. or your money back.
just press play and let the fidgeting and flailing begin.

30.11.09

i gotta say:

past present

i might be thinking too much about the future lately.
everything's become a countdown.
weekend in 4 days.
japan in 4 weeks.
sweden in 7 months.
iceland in 8.
back to school in 9.
what does this say about now?
i shouldn't lose sight of where i am...
but i'm in a lull.
it feels just like
auto
matic
stop.

28.11.09

happiness is......



hi steven chen. hiiii ㅋㅋ

24.11.09

go on, take my hand. i'll eat the darkness.




last night's nightmare.

it ate my hand clean off - slowly and loudly, from knuckle to wrist. and i was late for school (...and cared..? all the while maintaining the wherewithal to elevate the warm, bloody stump it left me with.)


so today:
apostle of hustle (eazy speaks)

from apostleofhustlemyspace:
(William Blake: "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." Swallowing poison usually leads to death, but not if the patient knows the art of transformation, not if they can "stomach" the bullshit & hell that is surrounding and tormenting them. This then is the process - one eats darkness & somehow is able to excrete out pure light!)

15.11.09

12.11.09

a journey of a thousand miles

begins with a single step.

10.11.09

rethink

reread last post.
realized: for many, choice is a luxury.

9.11.09

(w)here is home(?)


since i was young(er), i've wondered how, exactly, people decide where they want to live. it never seemed to me that it was something that just...happened - because of a job, person, whathaveyou.

surely - i thought - home, and where home would be, was one of a person's most important and liberating life choices.

from my naive perspective, anyone could live anywhere.

so it seemed to me that home was not only an important and liberating choice - but an incredibly daunting choice as well.

the world!

the world is so big.

each place, each potential home, so different.

what if there was this little town, this little village somewhere in __________ that was the absolute, most perfect home for you.
how does one ever know that they're in the right place?
do we just settle at some point, and cease to question location?
do we have to stop questioning so as not to go mad?
....is it even important at all?

i've kind of started a mental list of sorts. places i want to go. i really can't tell you how places end up on the list. sweden is the best example. why? people ask. i'm hoping i'll be able to tell you once i've been, and seen, and done. i think it will become clear. whatever it is. and portland, oregon. that might be due to music. elliot smith. ...? not sure. again, maybe once i've been.


explore ( ) v. , -plored , -ploring , -plores . v.tr. To investigate systematically; examine: explore every possibility.


6.11.09

yogurt ladies...

they do it on the street.

3.11.09

reykjavictor.


happy now i've planned it.
it's gonna be icelandic.
first swedish then dynamic.
stay calm and
don't
panic.





eric


















just won't smile.

22.10.09

story of a girl.



a friend told me about this story and sent me the lecture link. (thank you KS)

i found it really interesting to listen to a foreigner's impressions of korea in the 1970s - a very different korea, i'm sure, to the one in which i currently live. that said, semblances of the old korea do remain.

generally, and from my own experiences, it does seem to be some members of older generations who have a problem with multiculturalism in their country. and i would be the last to support narrowmindedness - but in the voice of understanding, i have to ask: can you blame them? really? if we look at the last 50-odd years of korea's history, it's possible to understand why older koreans who lived through their country being torn apart by others, ruled by others, "saved" by others, and pieced back together by others, might not be so pleased to watch a steady stream of foreigners settle in their country.


this struck me as a beautiful story - if only because of the photography, and seemingly, the intentions of the people involved. i'll be completely honest - it made my eyes well up a bit. and without really thinking about why, one might assume it was simply the story as a whole that got to me. this perfect rags to riches story - a child, tormented and ridiculed, saved by the rugged american photographer/do-gooder. and then i thought,

wait a minute.

i think i'm feeling this way because of what i learned about eun suk's life before mr. smolan showed up. and not because she was teased, or suffered hardships - but because her life with her grandmother seemed absolutely beautiful and, really, that kind of relationship is extremely hard to come by, especially in the western world, no matter what year it is.

i think mr. smolan really addresses the part of this story that i have a problem with around 17:42, when he is describing the great feelings that hit him when he finds himself essentially holding lives in his hands:

"...and the other is unbelievable guilt. here i've been playing god with my

friends' lives, my friend's son, with natascha's life...and

this is what you get when you try playing god, is you hurt people."


i don't hate america.
but i don't like that it's viewed as the best place to be. the only place to succeed. the only place to be happy. as if beauty pageants and cheerleading are the penultimate achievements for any and all teenage girls.

a sense of community, feeling part of a 'whole', definitely helps to fulfill a human being's life. but to quote the ever-cheerful joseph conrad, "we live as we dream - alone."

did eun suk have a better life in korea? or as natascha in america? that's for her to decided. no matter where you live, or what your name, you'll always find someone to taunt you, and reject you - just as you'll always find someone, at least some one, who will accept you.

at 8:34, mr. smolan describes his experiences upon going to retrieve eun suk from her uncle's home in Seoul.


"...and I'm trying to think, what would the hero do in a movie, if i was

writing this as a movie script...as we started talking, i saw him yell

something, and eun suk came and brought us some food. and i had this

whole mental picture of sort of like Cinderella...this incredibly

wonderful, bright, happy little child who now appeared to be very

withdrawn, being enslaved by this family. and i was really appalled, and

i couldn't figure out what to do..."


with this quote arises one dichotomy which must be addressed:

if smolan is the hero, who is the villain?

as i watch again, and look at smolan's beautiful photographs of this young girl - with her grandmother, playing with her friends, or writing on the blackboard - i can't help but think: leave it alone.

let it be. children are cruel. children are made fun of. everywhere. for every and any reason. clearly this child was special. what if it was her job, her journey, to fight - to be a leader, as she clearly was, and make life for other amerasians a little bit less "intolerable"? what if she was where she was meant to be?

...and this is all quite long-winded and pointless. eun suk - natascha - is an adult now, and it's her life - her story to comment on. i guess my sole point in writing this, is to propose the idea that, sometimes, the martyr, hero, saviour role is not the most admirable role to take.

16.10.09

loss for words

beautiful song.



I'm in the wars
Can't speak for crying
Close all the doors
Since I am dying
Pick up the phone
Attempt to call her
I'm all alone
Until she answers

Momentarily she brings peace to me
Momentarily she brings peace to me

She barely speaks
But I hear her breathing
That's all I need
Someone who's listening
And still she stays
Her time is precious
Until I am safe
She gives her presence

Momentarily she brings peace to me
Momentarily she brings peace to me
Momentarily she brings peace to me
Momentarily she brings peace to me

i like it hot

nothing to watch?



it's the story of a struggling screenwriter, and her relationships - primarily with her sister and niece, whom she squats with because she's fallen into a bit of a slump, and men. two men, in particular.



you can find it on mysoju.com
(thanks han)

radiology.

right now at www.charlottegainsbourg.com, you can download the first song "IRM" (not to be confused with the first single - gainsbourg and beck's duet "heaven can wait"), from her forthcoming album, produced (and co-written, co-created) by beck.

i really like charlotte gainsbourg. i'm on the fence as to whether i prefer her in my ears or on my screen - although the science of sleep really is enough for me to put all my eggs in her acting basket.

IRM was inspired, gainsbourg says, by 6-months-worth of trips to an MRI machine. (apparently after suffering a brain hemmorhage caused by a water-skiing accident.)

if you've ever been in an MRI...machine....?....the first thing you'll notice upon listening to IRM is that the sound is identical. it's really interesting to imagine gainsbourg lying perfectly still, listening to the big magnets chugging around her head, all the while doctoring up a future album in her mind.

the mechanical chug and whiz is backed by an almost tribal drum that reminds me of bjork for some reason. lyrically, gainsbourg stays true to theme -
"analyze ekg. can you see a memory? register all my fear. on a flowchart disappear. leave my head demagnetized. tell me where the trauma lies..."













ps.
she wasn't trying to be quirky by calling the song MRI backwards. in french, it's "imagerie par résonnance magnétique" - or, IRM.

7.10.09

homeward bound, i wish i was...


oh wait...
i am!
let the 3-day whirlwind begin~

6.10.09

SPAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

last weekend was 추석 (sounds like CHEWsock) holiday in Korea. it's sort of like Korean thanksgiving. ergo, our weekend was a wonderful 3 days long. i decided to treat myself on the friday with a trip to this place:

the W Seoul - a big, shiny hotel on the Han river, east end of Seoul. before you roll your eyes and think, 'ugh. she's one of those' - let me preface the rest of this post with this: i've never been to a spa. any spa, let alone one in a fancy shmancy hotel. and i'm the type who generally feels uncomfortable and completely out of place anywhere fancy shmancy.

but i like to go for the occasional massage. stress builds up in the traps, ya know? and after a few less-than-sparkling massage experiences, i figured a fancy shmancy hotel, with a fancy shmancy spa was a safe bet.













and it was.
the W is clean and modern - maybe a little futuristic, even. the staff was cheery and helpful. Away spa, on the second floor of the W, was equally welcoming. and jenny, who did all my treatments (back, neck, and shoulder massage | express facial | foot and leg massage) was lovely and very good.

afterwards, i sat a while with some cold ginseng tea, before walking out into the sunshine - past the line of black cars awaiting the jet set, the elite - and heading downhill along the Han river, toward the subway station.

1.10.09

wild thing, i think i love you.

but i wanna know for sure.



(will have to wait till october 16th i guess.)



i hate the hype.
but you can't deny that this film looks absolutely
magical,
whimsical,
beautiful -
the trailer alone does something funny to my heart
and makes the hair on my arms stand up straight.

i'm speaking strictly in terms of cinematography.
(having only seen the trailer, mind you.)
so shoot me. i don't actually remember the story.
but by the looks of it,
it's a perfect amalgamation of
nature and imagination;
the most real of the real - soil and snow and sunset,
alongside the otherwise unbelievable...

...not to mention a sad boy in a crown and tail.


Dear Wild Thing,
Bet you never knew you moved The Troggs......???



The singer might wanna see somebody about that spaghetti neck.

23.9.09

i know, i know...

enough with the videos already.

after my third consecutive weekend of being escorted home by the rising sun, i've made a plan - for the next two and a half weeks, at least. life: granny style. and by this, i think i just mean, life: not crazy college style.
i need to grow up a bit. i'm finding myself feeling somewhat empty lately, and i think it's the result of some...relatively unproductive weekends. fun weekends, definitely, but otherwise fruitless. unless you count headaches and lost days along with your cherries and peaches.

life changes aside, this song won't leave my head today.



let it be my farewell to the wild life.
...for now.


oh, and um, because i like juxtaposition.....and the word juxtaposition:

13.9.09

what you've been waiting for...



i wish i was this pretty.

11.9.09

foot for thought



might do a little reflexology investigation/experiment...

8.9.09

i love theque

...biblio...disco....but most of all, la blogo.
i've posted about them before, but they're worth another mention.
they do these things called concert a emporter, or 'take away shows'.
some are amazing. some, not so much. but if you've got the time...well, you can try your luck with some person called scout niblett, for instance. (this is a testimony to how much i have enjoyed some of the stuff i've found on la blogotheque - and therefore trust in their judgement.)
i hate the word niblett. which might be funny, because i like corn. i like corn a lot. but when i saw the name scout niblett, well, it basically screamed: STAY AWAY! to me. but, it was on la blogotheque. so i thought about it. i literally spent 2 and a half solid minutes weighing the pros and cons of clicking this niblett link. what it came down to: it's on blogotheque, so who knows - it might change my life.
it didn't.
so beware of nibletts, but enjoy the rest.
like, maybe, this:



or, the very first of the first:



kazooooooooooooooo!

no poppycock

sometimes - k, often verging on the point of always - i'm too lazy to actually make things. there's the odd time i get around to crafting something i hadn't even planned (....acrylic-heavy toilet roll cloud....origami orchid mobile..)
usually, it's things i fall upon on the internet that provide the spark, rekindling my love of creating small, otherwise meaningless things - my need to create small, meaningless things. (however pretentious that may sound...or read.)
to the point.
this website is great: poppytalk.blogspot.com
click on one delightful thing, and you'll be led to a hundred other delightful things. for example:

2.9.09

cute|gorgeous

new tautou

i love her.
can't wait to see this.























for now,
hear this:






...i'd like to be a car.

27.8.09

case contents. in brief.

condoms.
a pack of cigarettes.
a small, empty notebook.
a pen.
a notepad with dried-brown blood spots.
i asked if i could draw him a picture.
the blood spots looked like islands.
i drew around the first with blue ink.
it looked like australia.
i drew around a few more...
named one 맥주도 - beer island.
another i labeled 캐나다 (canada).
i wrote my name at the top in both languages, returned the pad, and crawled back into the hole to find my hoegaarden.

26.8.09

spontaneity and a briefcase

lastnight we made lastminute plans to go out for a beer (so, five beers) for my coworker vicky's 29th (so, 30th) birthday. we headed for a hole in the wall called mania street - a hole i'd never been in - but the hole was full. packed, actually. so we wandered past the mini-stop (convenience store with tables outside - and this is the perfect opportunity to declare my belief that drinking in public should be legal everywhere, and one should always be able to find beer alongside coke and water.) anyway - no tables. so we went to WA Bar and drank some WA beer. And some stella artois. Then we tried mania street again. Still packed. Second coworker rob was hungry, and there was a 육회 place across the street - that also served beer, of course. 육회 you say? pronounced yook hway (sort of), it's essentially little strips of raw beef. i was a bit nervous, i won't lie - but it was pretty tasty.



(didn't have a camera on me - so thanks google image search. that's bits of asian pear mixed in. ours looked just like that, and was seasoned nicely.)





after the meat fest, we went to mania street. i guess i should mention that during the meat fest, my attention was held by some guys outside mania street - one of which was carrying a briefcase. mysterious. right! i thought so too. so meat down, we crossed the street, went in, and ordered some asahi. asahi down, i decided to go out and see for myself what was in this guy's case. i sat on the step beside him and introduced myself. "what's in your briefcase?" i asked. he looked instantly afraid, but gave me a straight-faced, "drugs." for a second, i believed him. then someone said something about the mafia. his wooly-hatted friend laughed and helped him match up the numbers on the locks so he could open the old reddish-brown leather(?) case. the suspense was killing me. what could possibly be in there? he wasn't your typical business person; i wasn't expecting a stack of papers or bills, documents and invoices. i pictured some hot watches. fake rolexes. (is the plural of rolex, rolex?) maybe there'd be some toys...yo-yos or something. they finally got the numbers matched up.
he lifted the top.
i held my breath...

24.8.09

this song is making

my dreams come true.




k, maybe not. but it's making my day.
in fact, i'm currently trying to make up for lost hall and oates time.



...they're kind of the tits.

21.8.09

20.8.09

spaceships and dragons and babies, oh my

south korea was supposed to launch their first ever space shuttle - the Naro - yesterday, but had to cancel because of a technical difficulty of some sort.



they'll try again later.

in other news, infamous k-popper G-dragon launched his first solo album yesterday, which also happened to be his 22nd birthday (i feel ancient.) there's proving to be some controversy over the track "heartbreaker" - also the name of the album - because apparently it sounds a lot like Flo Rida's "right round". i had a listen. the similarity, if there is one, is miniscule - in my opinion. leave the dragon alone. unless you're going to give him styling advice....not sure how i feel about his new look.



atta boy. keep the drag in dragon.
not to worry though - he seems to have a new look biweekly. just as this one begins to grow on me, he'll be decked out in some other theme.
as for the album - i just had a quick listen, but i don't really get the point of doing a solo album when you collaborate on every song anyway. i guess it had to be done if he wanted more control than he gets with big bang.....hmm....maybe a TOP duet would have changed my mind.

and finally - the babies.
have a listen.

18.8.09

ps

it's mid august

i need to post something.
i bought myself a new computer, justifying it with the idea that i would DEFINITELY write more once i got it. it's been a couple weeks. not a word.
maybe because it's so hot....
maybe because i'm all over the place.....
maybe because i'm waiting for something?
or there's nothing to write about..?
that's not true.
there's always something to write about.
even if it is just that i've been watching big brother uk religiously, have just started the L word from the first episode, and am thrilled that the third season of Mad Men has started! well, i was thrilled..but couldn't seem to get into it lastnight.
also, made a bit of progress on my ukelele, after being inspired by an impromptu singalong last saturday night in hongdae.
listening to lots of elliot smith.....and rilo kiley........and metric. blah blah blah....
was this the most interesting thing you've ever read?

21.7.09

can'tcan'tcan't wait.

JI to the SAN to the VAL-LEY

fiiiiiiiiiinally...
live music fix, fixed.
this sat/sun. mountain valley resort. let's hope the rain holds off.

sneak peek:







waaaaaaaayooooooooh :D
plus
one
week
till
canada
<3

17.7.09

how to: wash your cat

a taste of what i teach:































































and
some
home..

20.6.09

why not

so good.
keep an eye out for the double-legged doorknob swing.

19.6.09

alyssa and lemony.

my ABBA-loving student 박정미 Park Jung Mi (Alyssa) asked me if i kept a diary yesterday. we were talking about cows...for some reason...and she thought of this cow named Milky. Milky is white, so i asked if she makes vanilla milk.

Alyssa smiled, and said yes. i ran with it, creating a pink cow named Denise, who makes (can you guess)...strawberry milk. then came Alyssa's creation, Lemony - a bright yellow little cow that makes lemon milk. i know. lemon milk. then, Lemony's rival Nana (as in Ba-) popped into being.

i said i'd met them all on a farm, but only seen Lemony from afar because she's so bright that you can't look at her for too long. a lover of stories, Alyssa then asked me if i keep a diary.

no, i said.

will you, please? and write down when things like this happen....

so sweet.

then she added, and...when you have a boyfriend. write about that, too.

11.6.09

motto of the moment:

see fernando.
if you're high strung or stressed out, down in the dumps, been turned out, stabilized, motorized, insecure or fableized. curious or furious, picked apart like Prometheus. legalized, penalized - simplify, dry out your eyes. if you wanna go where they chain up the sun.....


hothothot.
i knew there was a reason my hair's this long.
(imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.)
..and there's no way the drummer's stache is real.

3.6.09

gonna get my grubby hands

on a new computer soon...
so there might be some actual writing...writing...writing and making....writing making loving...love making....lovely writing........
and pictures. lots of pictures. maybe some video.
soooo.....i'll be writing lovely pictures about videos i'm making.
excitinnnng.

19.5.09

14.5.09

i <3 k-pop(corn)


T.O.P is a neat guy, i'll give him that.

7.5.09

claude francois

...and my life will never be the same.


thanks (...?) sean

28.4.09

in circles

...about nothing

that is everything

to me.


7.4.09

pick just three.

on an m. ward kick.
(blame the go-getter.)


hopeful


nostalgic


$100

27.3.09

just got back from the cake opera



which i'm going to go ahead and guess is about 100 times better than the actual opera.


..and the fat lady sings.

24.3.09

i found jesus

yesterday, on the side of the road.

















someone must have been doing some serious spring cleaning.