22.10.09

story of a girl.



a friend told me about this story and sent me the lecture link. (thank you KS)

i found it really interesting to listen to a foreigner's impressions of korea in the 1970s - a very different korea, i'm sure, to the one in which i currently live. that said, semblances of the old korea do remain.

generally, and from my own experiences, it does seem to be some members of older generations who have a problem with multiculturalism in their country. and i would be the last to support narrowmindedness - but in the voice of understanding, i have to ask: can you blame them? really? if we look at the last 50-odd years of korea's history, it's possible to understand why older koreans who lived through their country being torn apart by others, ruled by others, "saved" by others, and pieced back together by others, might not be so pleased to watch a steady stream of foreigners settle in their country.


this struck me as a beautiful story - if only because of the photography, and seemingly, the intentions of the people involved. i'll be completely honest - it made my eyes well up a bit. and without really thinking about why, one might assume it was simply the story as a whole that got to me. this perfect rags to riches story - a child, tormented and ridiculed, saved by the rugged american photographer/do-gooder. and then i thought,

wait a minute.

i think i'm feeling this way because of what i learned about eun suk's life before mr. smolan showed up. and not because she was teased, or suffered hardships - but because her life with her grandmother seemed absolutely beautiful and, really, that kind of relationship is extremely hard to come by, especially in the western world, no matter what year it is.

i think mr. smolan really addresses the part of this story that i have a problem with around 17:42, when he is describing the great feelings that hit him when he finds himself essentially holding lives in his hands:

"...and the other is unbelievable guilt. here i've been playing god with my

friends' lives, my friend's son, with natascha's life...and

this is what you get when you try playing god, is you hurt people."


i don't hate america.
but i don't like that it's viewed as the best place to be. the only place to succeed. the only place to be happy. as if beauty pageants and cheerleading are the penultimate achievements for any and all teenage girls.

a sense of community, feeling part of a 'whole', definitely helps to fulfill a human being's life. but to quote the ever-cheerful joseph conrad, "we live as we dream - alone."

did eun suk have a better life in korea? or as natascha in america? that's for her to decided. no matter where you live, or what your name, you'll always find someone to taunt you, and reject you - just as you'll always find someone, at least some one, who will accept you.

at 8:34, mr. smolan describes his experiences upon going to retrieve eun suk from her uncle's home in Seoul.


"...and I'm trying to think, what would the hero do in a movie, if i was

writing this as a movie script...as we started talking, i saw him yell

something, and eun suk came and brought us some food. and i had this

whole mental picture of sort of like Cinderella...this incredibly

wonderful, bright, happy little child who now appeared to be very

withdrawn, being enslaved by this family. and i was really appalled, and

i couldn't figure out what to do..."


with this quote arises one dichotomy which must be addressed:

if smolan is the hero, who is the villain?

as i watch again, and look at smolan's beautiful photographs of this young girl - with her grandmother, playing with her friends, or writing on the blackboard - i can't help but think: leave it alone.

let it be. children are cruel. children are made fun of. everywhere. for every and any reason. clearly this child was special. what if it was her job, her journey, to fight - to be a leader, as she clearly was, and make life for other amerasians a little bit less "intolerable"? what if she was where she was meant to be?

...and this is all quite long-winded and pointless. eun suk - natascha - is an adult now, and it's her life - her story to comment on. i guess my sole point in writing this, is to propose the idea that, sometimes, the martyr, hero, saviour role is not the most admirable role to take.

16.10.09

loss for words

beautiful song.



I'm in the wars
Can't speak for crying
Close all the doors
Since I am dying
Pick up the phone
Attempt to call her
I'm all alone
Until she answers

Momentarily she brings peace to me
Momentarily she brings peace to me

She barely speaks
But I hear her breathing
That's all I need
Someone who's listening
And still she stays
Her time is precious
Until I am safe
She gives her presence

Momentarily she brings peace to me
Momentarily she brings peace to me
Momentarily she brings peace to me
Momentarily she brings peace to me

i like it hot

nothing to watch?



it's the story of a struggling screenwriter, and her relationships - primarily with her sister and niece, whom she squats with because she's fallen into a bit of a slump, and men. two men, in particular.



you can find it on mysoju.com
(thanks han)

radiology.

right now at www.charlottegainsbourg.com, you can download the first song "IRM" (not to be confused with the first single - gainsbourg and beck's duet "heaven can wait"), from her forthcoming album, produced (and co-written, co-created) by beck.

i really like charlotte gainsbourg. i'm on the fence as to whether i prefer her in my ears or on my screen - although the science of sleep really is enough for me to put all my eggs in her acting basket.

IRM was inspired, gainsbourg says, by 6-months-worth of trips to an MRI machine. (apparently after suffering a brain hemmorhage caused by a water-skiing accident.)

if you've ever been in an MRI...machine....?....the first thing you'll notice upon listening to IRM is that the sound is identical. it's really interesting to imagine gainsbourg lying perfectly still, listening to the big magnets chugging around her head, all the while doctoring up a future album in her mind.

the mechanical chug and whiz is backed by an almost tribal drum that reminds me of bjork for some reason. lyrically, gainsbourg stays true to theme -
"analyze ekg. can you see a memory? register all my fear. on a flowchart disappear. leave my head demagnetized. tell me where the trauma lies..."













ps.
she wasn't trying to be quirky by calling the song MRI backwards. in french, it's "imagerie par résonnance magnétique" - or, IRM.

7.10.09

homeward bound, i wish i was...


oh wait...
i am!
let the 3-day whirlwind begin~

6.10.09

SPAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

last weekend was 추석 (sounds like CHEWsock) holiday in Korea. it's sort of like Korean thanksgiving. ergo, our weekend was a wonderful 3 days long. i decided to treat myself on the friday with a trip to this place:

the W Seoul - a big, shiny hotel on the Han river, east end of Seoul. before you roll your eyes and think, 'ugh. she's one of those' - let me preface the rest of this post with this: i've never been to a spa. any spa, let alone one in a fancy shmancy hotel. and i'm the type who generally feels uncomfortable and completely out of place anywhere fancy shmancy.

but i like to go for the occasional massage. stress builds up in the traps, ya know? and after a few less-than-sparkling massage experiences, i figured a fancy shmancy hotel, with a fancy shmancy spa was a safe bet.













and it was.
the W is clean and modern - maybe a little futuristic, even. the staff was cheery and helpful. Away spa, on the second floor of the W, was equally welcoming. and jenny, who did all my treatments (back, neck, and shoulder massage | express facial | foot and leg massage) was lovely and very good.

afterwards, i sat a while with some cold ginseng tea, before walking out into the sunshine - past the line of black cars awaiting the jet set, the elite - and heading downhill along the Han river, toward the subway station.

1.10.09

wild thing, i think i love you.

but i wanna know for sure.



(will have to wait till october 16th i guess.)



i hate the hype.
but you can't deny that this film looks absolutely
magical,
whimsical,
beautiful -
the trailer alone does something funny to my heart
and makes the hair on my arms stand up straight.

i'm speaking strictly in terms of cinematography.
(having only seen the trailer, mind you.)
so shoot me. i don't actually remember the story.
but by the looks of it,
it's a perfect amalgamation of
nature and imagination;
the most real of the real - soil and snow and sunset,
alongside the otherwise unbelievable...

...not to mention a sad boy in a crown and tail.


Dear Wild Thing,
Bet you never knew you moved The Troggs......???



The singer might wanna see somebody about that spaghetti neck.